Help! 4 Steps Back To The Light….

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Love to you!



I started this blog many weeks ago; as I sat at my keyboard, with tears dripping softly down my cheeks not knowing what was going to appear on the screen as I typed.

This journey of learning has resembled the honey, now spiralling from my spoon into the Sacred Chocolate drink, kissing it in spirals as its sweetness is greeted thankfully by the bittersweet emotions which I at last, surrendered and dived into.

I must admit that I find it easier to inspire with my stories of travels to paradise destinations, dancing under the stars and sacred ceremonies.  Today however, I show up in the truth of current reality as I share the journey; unlike most journeys, when I embarked on this one, I had no idea of the destination, but I knew I needed to take that first step, into the unknown again.  I had no idea what was going to move me out of that dark, cold, depressed space.  The journey was a spiral, as I went in and out of feelings of joy and gratitude for my life, seeing so many dreams manifesting to a deep misery, which is hardly a feeling, more an avoidance of feeling.  All the while, focussing on birthing this blog as a ray of inspiration to anyone else who is in a dark place.


I told friends and family that I was feeling down, and surprisingly, they didn’t disown me.  I can laugh now, but I have an old program which was a survival mechanism from my childhood to be ‘Merry Gerri’.  Even though I don’t need it anymore, it still kicks in now as I still sometimes find it difficult to be real and vulnerable.  When I was real, it allowed others to get closer and I was warmly consoled by my nearest and dearest, and a few new, wonderful friends whose presence alone was a healing gift.   Most of the responses were of joy, that I too, am human.

Looking back on the day I started writing, I can say that I am grateful for that time, and I am very, very pleased to be out of that phase.  The ‘story/s’ of why I was feeling like that are not important; in fact, telling the stories now, or spending time wallowing in the details then would have been just another way of avoiding the feelings, and eventually alchemising them.

Anyone that shows up in my reality has come as a guide, to show me what I need to learn; so I’m grateful for them.

There were four main steps that guided me back into my bliss, maybe they resonate with you?

1. Feel It To Heal It

By allowing our emotions to be, and observing them, we are giving them space to naturally dissipate.

You Gotta Feel it to Heal it.  Allow the emotions to be, feel them.  The ego loves to find ways to distract us from simply feeling the feelings.  If we ignore our feelings, we will just continue to manifest situations that bring up those feelings…. until we do feel them.

According to Psychology Professor Kristin Neff, Ph.D., of the University of Texas, “If you get mentally lost in blaming yourself, or others, you prolong your suffering, but if you simply allow yourself to feel the emotion and let it run its course – which is often a wave that builds and tapers off—it dissipates much more quickly.”

‘Pain is inherent. Suffering is optional.’

Joseph Campbell

It touched my soul when I heard of Philip Seymour Hoffman’s death, and the sad circumstances surrounding it.

Recently while travelling, I noticed the various ways whole nations try and bury their pain.  Popular ways include alcohol, drugs, materialism, sex, overwork, the list continues.  I’ve become more conscious over the years of what I do to resolve my tension.  Rather than sitting with my feelings, I used to bury them.  So now, rather than having a glass of wine as a habit, I check in to see if there’s an emotion I’m trying to cover up, if so, I let the feeling be.  Again, it’s about checking into the motivation; love or fear?  When I let the feeling be, and I feel it, what emerges is a beautiful spurt of inspiration or creative ideas.

When I say ‘feel your feelings’, it really does mean, take time, lie down and FEEL what’s going on, until you breathe through them and reach a place of peace.

If this doesn’t work for you, let me know as it might be good to have someone talk you through it for the first time.  Everyone I’ve shared this process with has passed it on to their friends, family, clients, etc. because it’s simple and it really works.

It really is as simple as this….  

Just be still, sit or lie down, feel and wait til the feeling dissipates… You’ll know you’re there when you start to feel a deep sense of peace and bliss.  DO NOT allow your mind/ego to try and distract you by working it out, analysing it, trying to change/control it etc.

If you would like a recording of my  ‘Soul Alchemy Discovery’, just drop me a message.

It’s a new moon this weekend, so these next few days are super powerful to let go of the last few remnants of things that aren’t serving you for a brand new start.

2.        BREATHE!

There may be times when you can’t take yourself through the process of feeling the feelings, so until you can, just take a few minutes out and BREATHE!

This is one of my favourite topics of conversation, and the thing I rave about excitedly, usually forgetting to breathe myself… which is why it’s great to constantly remind others Lol.  I wrote an article on (The Benefits of Slow, Conscious) Breathing many years ago (link here) which is worth a read.  A quick favourite is to:

a) Breathe in for the count of 7, breathe out for the count of 11 (or as close as possible).

b) Take 40 deep breaths a day

As we manifest our Heaven on Earth, so much is shifting, and bodily symptoms will be common.  Many are experiencing sensations around the heart area, ranging from palpitations (fast, pronounced heartbeat), feeling of deep pain, sadness, a feeling of being stabbed in the back, feeling like the heart is literally expanding, intense joy, excitement and many other sensations.  Often when we feel bodily sensations, our mind can go into overdrive with worry.  If we let our thoughts have the power, they can make whatever is going on even worse.  I know I was sleeping quite a lot when I was feeling down as I usually get a lot of healing in my dreamtime, but actually breathing was much quicker and much more effective and allowed me to shift the energy gently and quickly.

“The only difference between fear and excitement is the breath.”

With focussed, conscious breathing the sensations turned to excitement.  Then, when I stayed with the feeling, I moved into a state of being totally ‘in flow’.  Like I was connected to everything, in all time and space, which of course I always am, but by breathing through, almost like giving birth, I was able to connect to more and more of my divinity, and what I’ve been creating is truly sparkling with a new glow.

575862_506235956101429_1481577541_n (1)

We ARE birthing the new, and it can be scary, deciphering what is of the old world, and moving into the new.  It’s the biggest unknown all of us on our own and as a collective have EVER embraced.  We’re creating it as we leap, so it’s super important to focus on what we WOULD love to create.

Dream, dream, dream…

3.    Energy Flows Where Attention Goes

I’ m sure you’ve heard the phrase ’focus creates reality’.  When our energy is focussed on something negative, that is what we tend to manifest.

“Worry is a misuse of the imagination.”

Dan Zadra

We are divine creators, so when we focus on a vision of what we’d love in our lives, that is what we’ll create.  The first thing I do when I’m working with a person or a group is I guide them to their version of ‘Heaven on Earth’; which for me is what ascension is all about, it’s bringing our version of Heaven into our lives.  When we have clarity on the path our soul is calling us to take it’s so much easier to focus on, and manifest that.  We don’t ignore ‘problems’ etc., but when that higher structure is created as a focus, and intuitive steps are taken daily to manifest it, there isn’t a focus on our problems, so we effortlessly create what we love.

What kept me going during this time was my life purpose, and knowing that I was going to publish this blog one day and hopefully bring a little more light into someone else’s life.


We don’t have to be in a state of peace constantly, however alchemising the pain allows us to manifest what we love.  When we are in a state of bliss, in flow, feeling wonderful THAT is the space for manifestation, healing and absolute magic.  We are in Oneness, as the divine creator beings that we truly are in essence.

“No problem can be created from the same state of consciousness that created it.”  

Albert Einstein

I regularly use Cacao as a guide to more easily facilitate the connection with Divinity.  Cacao is a psychotropic substance, used by the Ancient Aztecs and Mayans so it changes our consciousness, allowing us to view situations, our lives, conflicts, whatever from our true essence; spiritual beings having a human experience.  It is powerful!  For a blog on the 13 Spiritual Benefits of Chocolate click here.

“What would you love?”

This is my absolute favourite question, it creates a bridge (the imagination), to our Heaven on Earth.  It allows you to dream and imagine, it shifts the focus and the energy and puts a stop to the internal chatter which is generally not super positive 🙂   I now use a Shamanic process to guide people to their unique version of ‘heaven on earth’, but before that, I used to ask them;

‘What is it that you would love, that you just know is not possible?’  

I would get them to verbalise it and then write it down.  Something miraculous then happened.  Without doubt, their dream manifested, sometimes within just a few months.  Start now by asking yourself these questions.  Generally what people wish for has to do with serving themselves, AND the planet, that’s when the magic really happens.

Once we have clarity on the things we love, and we’re truthful about where we are in relation to that, this discrepancy creates something referred to by Robert Fritz as ‘structural tension’ which is an emotional and energetic tension that seeks to be resolved.

Interestingly enough, the more the discrepancy, the better.  If you imagine an elastic band stretched to its max, at one end is your vision, and the other is your current reality.  As you stretch the band the tension increases, the more the band will stretch and there will be more tension present, so the stronger our energy and motivation becomes to resolve the tension.

The tendency is for the rubber band to resolve the tension in the system, like nature this can be observed. There is only one way for it to go; resolution.  There are two ways we can resolve that tension, we can either go into our thoughts, feelings and beliefs like I’m not worthy, or good enough and then cover it all up with a favoured habit OR can simply hang with that tension, allowing your subconscious AND your divine power to manifest the desired end result. 

Symbol of Love, Power, Freedom

Unicorns in Andalucia; Symbol of Love, Power, Freedom

I constantly use my intuition to guide me to creating more and more of my Heaven on Earth and it totally rocks my boat to see others do the same.  As one of my friends who I also mentor said a long time ago “Wow, this is amazing, one day all of us will manifest our Heaven on Earth and we’ll live in Heaven on Earth!”

The examples and magical threads which can be weaved when we’re living from our imagination rather than our thoughts and feelings, or belief system are really beyond our current imagination.

Life is an adventure, the more you treat it like one, and allow your imagination to have the power, you will effortlessly create and live the path your soul is calling you to take, stepping into your Heaven on Earth.

4.        Conflict As A Teacher

Harmony doesn’t come from happiness alone.  Harmony in music is created when contrasting notes and melodies collide, resulting in a divine resonance and richness.  It’s the same with human connections; our relationships are enriched and deepened by our experiences; by being real and truthful.  That’s one of the things I adore about my journey, and learning to face conflict, and speak my truth.  Friendships get stronger and more juicy because of tough times and conflict.  I still find it difficult to face conflict, as I have a vision of a heaven on earth and I often put a positive spin on conflict, pretend it’s not happening and try to avoid it (which is partly the reason for the tears).  However, our ‘leaden’ experiences do become our treasure

When we reap the rewards of our difficult times we gain wisdom, learnings and gifts, which can’t be given, they have to be experienced.

Sometimes it will be beneficial to actually go deep into the emotion, and see where it originated, this is particularly useful if you have been experiencing a repeated pattern, there’ is a free guided process which I posted on YouTube which you can use (click here).

Take the lessons of the spiral of learning you come through.  For me it’s about realness and taking things, which before, I’d, viewed as ‘old world paradigm’ nonsense.  A year ago, I had a real aversion to things like legal contracts, receiving them as old world and based on fear, however, what I’ve learned is that we can take some of the old world 3d creations and bring them lovingly in to the new world.  When we have things in writing, this is clarity which is a very good thing, it is light; wisdom is light.

Breathe… whatever is happening BREATHE!  Now is the moment of power (see blog about this), it is the only point we can create from, so make it powerful!  Focus on a higher structure, your dreams, with a foot in reality.

Enjoy beautiful beings.

‘There is a crack in everything.That’s how the light gets in.’ Leonard Cohen



Hey, thanks for joining me on this journey. I hope I inspired you,  and I hope I inspired you to inspire others.  We’re all just walking each other home, so be gentle with yourself and others.  We’re all feeling the same stuff from time to time, so be the love you’d love to love.

Please feel free to share this so that it inspires others to be the change they wish to see in the world.

Gerri is a Transformatrix who used imagination as a child to change others consciousness.  Her ‘imaginary friend’ was even called Tank, the name of one of the key characters in the film ‘The Matrix’.  She delights in gifting women worldwide with a magic wand to be the artist of the life beyond imagination.  Longer bio click here, testimonials see here.

If you would like a copy of the ‘Soul Alchemy Discovery’ recording, which will guide you through alchemising any feelings, and bring you to a place where you can create what you love, email for a copy.

If you would like to visit your ‘Heaven on Earth’ and get clarity on the path your soul is calling you to take, I am offering taster sessions for UK Sterling 47, until 7th March.

If you experience physical sensations or ailments, please do consider consulting a healthcare practitioner.


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